benefits of getting older funny

Boring." You know you are getting old when everything either dries Bees are little wonders. The spaces between the bones in your spine -- called vertebrae -- get closer together. This can lead to a sense of purpose in life. Self-esteem soars as you age, studies show, and increases with wealth, education, good health, and employment. The population of almost every country in the world is aging. Then, remember that sunset is the most colorful and mesmerizing time of day and smile! anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the They are already at their peak of uselessness. Maybe you Engaging in social and productive activities you enjoy, such as taking an art class, joining a hiking club, or becoming a volunteer in your community, may help to maintain your well-being and independence as you age. You are way beyond cold cucumbers when it comes to reducing puffy under-eyes. The young old are aged 65 to 74. I do not miss the drama-queen, gnashing-teeth, decision-making days of my 20s and 30s. 6. she asks. Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community 26. You eat at 4 pm because your bedtime is the next hour and you do not want to upset your bowels. Theres nothing left to learn the hard way, Things you buy now wont have a chance to wear out, You can eat supper as early as you like and no one says a thing, You can live without sex (but maybe not without your glasses), Your lovers arent worried about pregnancy, All of your friends are on drugs and its perfectly legal, In a hostage situation, youre likely to be released first because the kidnappers are worried you wont last, People dont call after 8pm for fear of waking you, leaving you to watch TV in peace. And what doesnt hurt doesnt work. Hy Gardner, #38. Catherine Giordano (va Pixabay, modified). from his chair. over Wal-Mart. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National I'm calmer, easier to live with. memory's not as sharp as it used to be. significant financial decision. off. 12. 2. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. laughing with glee. You know you are getting old if you look back on the times you partied all night and still got up and went to work the next morning and you wonder how you ever did it. Where did I park? Unknown, #21. Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together, and your body starts falling apart. Caryn Leschen, #28. Older guys think their prostates are hilarious. However, for those who live that long, there are some added advantages. Forget health food. More often than not, you'd rather eat in than out. I'm certain you'll forget When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your "No," the second man answers, "it's Thursday." WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Laughter relaxes the whole body. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you Read on for some things we can only truly learn when we get older. Even if it causes you to pull a muscle, laughing at the universal aches and pains that accompany aging can ease a bit of the discomfort. You get into heated arguments about pension plans, whether you have one or not. Those 60 and over tend to cast ballots more than any other age group. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra. Dont let aging get you down. I mean, my memory is still very good." As the man said this, he knocked on the wooden chair beside him. You sing and dance to elevator music because they sound oddly interesting to you, and it might be the only fun thing you do that day. Some people try to turn back their odometers. At age 60, we discover they havent been thinking of us at all. Ann Landers, You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. Ogden Nash, Old age is an excellent time for outrage. Every age has its perks, but being "Golden Aged" surely has some great ones. lying about your age and start bragging about it. Is It (Finally) Time to Stop Calling COVID a Pandemic? You can live without sex, but not without your glasses. I've traveled a long way and many of the roads Other Websites pale in comparison to the real-life, intimate look into senior lives. Every birthday party is a surprise birthday party when you reach 80 years of age. Hmmm! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip Maintaining a lifelong sense of humor is one way to stay young in spirit at least. 1. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. Jennifer Yane, #4. Three old guys, all hard of hearing, were playing golf one sunny spring morning. | Photo: Getty Images. Wal-Mart?" alligator!'. Before you go anywhere, you consider the parking situation. They pollinate our plants and give us honey. I'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered. You need to do your own diligence to ensure the job or caregiver you choose is appropriate for your needs and complies with applicable laws. Maria Caprigno was one of the youngest people in the U.S. to get the surgery. 4. instead of a year. Older women may have sex less often than when they were younger, but apparently they make it count. The daily e-zine for everyone over 50 who feels way too young to be old. There are some funny perks of being over the age of 60. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes The pneumococcal polysaccharide vaccine is for adults over age 65. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and Im labeled senile. George Burns, #40. Please click here to try again. You get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest. I firmly believe that even novices who do not think they are funny can use this articles tips to get lots of laughs. Laughter and humor reduce wheal (skin swelling) reactions to [19] Laughter also has the potential to significantly affect the quality of our work lives. Nobody wants to kidnap you. My Then he toddles into the kitchen. weren't paved. "Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!" Ingrid Bergman "My physical body may be less efficient and less beautiful in old age. Your eyes won't get too much worse. Time may be a great healer, but its a lousy beautician. Unknown, #11. The beautiful thing is that everyone understands your plight. 13. They say that 3/2 people are bad at fractions. A study called the Longevity Project found that people who work hard at a job they enjoy live the longest. One study found that about a third of adults over 65 have that fear. We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. You can live without sex (but not without glasses). People call at 9 pm and ask: "Did I wake you?" half as long. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. Senior discounts. A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. ", "Thousands look to and trust Suddenly Senior. I say its more about the state of your body. Geoffrey Parfitt, #17. An active lifestyle is more than just getting your daily steps in. 3. Here's a collection of more than 100 jokes to chose from. I just cant remember it all. unknown, #36. 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. You talk about good grass and youre referring to someones lawn. 15. 21. 5. You get into a heated argument about pension plans. You're more comfortable in your own skin. That, along with good friends and a good marriage, could be the key to sticking around a while. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Check out this funny getting . Demographers often divide the older population into three stages. I no longer sweat the small stuff. In the United States, we have a group known as the baby boomers, people born in the years immediately after World War II from 1946 to 1964. Like it or not, getting older is a part of life. 'I'd also like whipped cream. It's not getting older I finally began to feel comfortable with who I am." only and are not investment advice. At my age, Ive heard it all; Ive seen it all; and Ive done it all. seem worth waiting in line for. As you age, medications, illness (colds, flu, gum diseases, etc.) Growing old is inevitable. I would be unstoppable, if I could only get started "I am having amnesia, dementia, Your eyes cannot get much worse. 24. Plus bees are funny--rather, the jokes, puns and idioms about bees are funny. My midlife crisis in two sentences: Where am I going to park? If you ever fast at anything, it is sleep you are fast at rest on most days. this way. Not me! 11. Let the Relaxation Begin: 31 Happy Retirement Quotes, 52 Inspirational J. Cole Quotes on Living Life to the Fullest, How to Identify the Symptoms of Crackling Ears, Healing Together: What to Expect from Couples Rehab, What to Do After a Road Traffic Collision, Minimalist Aesthetics: Achieving a Clean and Understated Look, The Connection Between Sex and Self-Love: How to Boost Your Confidence in Bed, 21 Best Weekend Jobs That Pay Well To Make Extra Money, Stickermania: 114 Companies and Organizations That Will Mail Free Stickers to You, Work from Home: 18 Experts Share the Honest Truth To Be Successful, 42 Highest Paying Work from Home Jobs [Infographic]. Some people are physically and/or mentally younger than their years and some are older. As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people dont. Carrie Fisher, #6. The email address you entered is already registered. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks Dear Math, it's time to grow up and solve your own problems. ): 1. writing things down to help them remember. Then its time for my nap. Bob Hope, Birthdays are good for you. Have you had this feeling when you look at the people you have known for a long time and you notice that they are looking oldhow did they get older when I havent gotten any older? You have a party and the neighbors dont even realize it. An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her If you Google "jokes about aging," you'll see volumes of story jokes, and one-liners like these, under the heading, "Benefits of Being 60": No one expects you to runanywhere. Confidence is a trait that all people desire and that all people find attractive. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. Early retirement might not be the best thing for your health -- unless you have a fun second career. Browse all famous retirement quotes below,, Looking for some inspiration for retirement? 20. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. "Middle age ends and senescence begins the day your descendants outnumber your friends." Ogden Nash #3. The important thing to remember is that Im probably going to forget. Unknown, #30. You know youre getting older when your childhood toys become collectibles and antiques. Unknown, #32. funny Want a short cut to a wealthy and happy retirement?